Saturday, July 22, 2006

Whats in my heart

Had a great week, went to the worlds largest nightclub privelege it was a good experience but unlike other clubs on the island privelege is a dirty hole and probably only really works when it is rammed full of people.

Had a really good time with a guy called brian who came out to see the work here, it was great just chatting through ideas, for church and community life here in Ibiza. It was cool because when you have to talk to someone about what you are doing it helps you to bring your own ideas into focus. I came up with 3 B's to help us.

We are about:
(hanging out, being freinds, sitting at tables, going to clubs, etc..)
(taking every oppurtunity to be kind to people, serving in the westend etc..)
(intentional in building community with evangelistic mindets and kingdom principles)

It kind of makes sense, sometimes we feel like we know what we are doing and other times we feel like we stumble along, I am happy with that.

Been troubled in a very pleasant way all week about a thought that God popped into my head. "What are the desires of your heart?" Still pondering it, I read Kings and Solomon when asked by God what he wanted responded humbly and was blessed. I want to get this right, the desires of my heart are a very mixed bag. I feel the need to define and refine them.

My heart desires to see a great expression of community here on the island, my children to love God, my wife to be fulfilled, my marriage to work, my friendships to deepen, my love for God to grow and my effectiveness for him to increase. My heart desires increased discernment, ears to hear and eyes to see this world like God does. My heart desires to see the lost saved.

Then occasionally if I look deeper my heart desires, more sex, more money, nice things, beautiful clothes, more recognition and glory, a six pack and a huge villa.

I know if you put them both together one list looks shallow but believe me the shallow things can dominate my thinking more than the deep things.


Sheena said...

ah brian, i love the honesty. it's when we just look at the first list, and refuse to admit the second list exsists in our hearts as well, that we find ourselves less than successful in our purpose. secrets, even ones we try to keep from ourselves (commonly called "denial"), will always be a safe place for that which wants to keep us from our destiny in Christ.

lisa said...

people are shy to comment on this one as they may have to look into their own hearts and be sorry to see that the "shallower" stuff dominates there as well. certainly true in my heart. nice to know that god likes me, despite my tendency toward the shallow!