Peace

I took this shot at a graveyard yesterday, it was a really simple cross with the word peace inscribed on it.

I find peace in the cross, the redemptive work of Christ has brought me peace. Although right now my inner self has felt turmoil, at a deeper level I do know peace. Many years ago I was in a prison cell and felt tremendous unease and just couldn't sleep. I remember praying and asking God for peace and at that moment I felt peace. It permeated through the prison walls and made it's way into my heart, I slept like a baby. My circumstances didn't change but peace helped me deal with the the internal disruption and it's that same peace I feel today.

Sometimes we can't change our situation we just have to learn how to 'Be' in the situation. It may not pass quickly but we do have a hope, a hope that He will remain with us in the storm.

Peace to you.

Are we there yet?

Sorry for the lack of blogging, life has felt so hectic since our return, I haven't found blogging easy. I guess it's because I want to be positive and feel if I am anything but positive I would be doing a God a disservice because of all the great things he has done for us. I try to focus on Him remembering that we have jobs, we have a home, we have health, we have each other, that is all true and all so good.

Underneath all of that I am still struggling with unease, I feel unsettled, I feel a bit lost, I feel a sense of loss!

My boys have become invisible immigrants, they look British, the speak accent-less English, they dress in an appropriate manner but inside they are this international mix of Spanish, English and they are struggling. If your children aren't happy thats not so good. You have the questions that run through your mind like "Have we screwed their lives up?". I am pretty sure we haven't but it is a tape that plays out in my head!

Then we are back in our old house, our old church and it feels odd. Church is great but it's not what we are used to and if I am honest I guess we are finding it a struggle to make friends, although we are not lonely! You see thats it right there, life is full of paradoxes!

Surrounded by loads of old friends and family, yet feel lonely!
In our home that we own, yet feel like visitors!
In the land that we originate from, yet feel like foreigners!
In a church we love, yet feel like outsiders!

Our rhythms have changed, maybe we were presumptuous to feel we would settle quickly. I know people tell you it will take a while and the mistake we have made is believing that once all the external factors are in place we will be settled.

But that is failure to recognise the internal displacement we feel right now!

Are we there yet? Externally yes, Internally no.

We are not depressed, if anything we do feel blessed. I am just trying to articulate the internal battle of resettlement!

Maybe I am guilty of this myself I often look at what is going on for people externally and assume they are all good, when the deeper questions are about what is going on on the inside.

Don't get me wrong people have been asking how we are doing? but we have defaulted to saying "fine" because we really don't want to seem gloomy and we also don't want to vulnerabate in front of everyone! but here I am blogging about it, so the truth is out.

We are not there yet, but we recognise that we are on a Journey and "God is with us on the journey" and we will get there, eventually.

A dream from 2006

I wrote this in a journal in early 2006 and found it again yesterday!

I have a dream.  It’s a big dream - in reality it could almost be an impossible dream -but I am not prepared to live with the word impossible.  I’m going to live for my dream.

The dream is this: it’s of a vibrant, year round, praying and worshipping community here on the island of Ibiza. A community that is passionate about being kind and doing good for others, a community that does not live for itself alone.  A community of Jesus followers who love this island and want to bring His flavours to it.

This community will have a home, a building; it will be a large multi-purpose building, a tool that will define what we do here on this island.

This building will provide a place of refuge and spiritual reflection.

This building will allow us to run a multiplicity of courses.

This building will be actively used all year round.

This building will be a facility for the people of Ibiza.

It will be a place for the young to use after school or at the weekend. It will be attractive to all age groups.

We will host xbox clubs, pool tournaments, relaxation sessions, Spanish classes, coffee mornings and poker nights.

It will be a facility for information and advice about life on this island, an access point for workers.  Not just a place to use the internet, but a place of support when people are in need.

Sexual health and drugs awareness will be issues we will tackle from this building.

It will be a training centre – we could train people in DJing, drumming, guitar, dance, art and cookery… to name but a few.

We will gather people in the building on a regular basis for creative, chilled out teaching and worship services. We will run spiritual discovery courses such as alpha.

In my mind’s eye I see counselling taking place, massages being given, conversations being had, coffee being drunk, all in this building.

It will be the venue out of which summer teams work, the base for our community’s West End summer work.

At its heart it will have a prayer room - it’s vibrant beating spiritual heart will be prayer.  Prayer will sustain it.

The next step is a building.

It hasn't all happened yet but I am so privileged to see some of the dream fulfilled in our time here, Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see!

7 Years Ago

Today 7 years ago was when we arrived as a family on the island of Ibiza, 27th March 2005.

On one level time has flown by on another level I feel like we have been here a long time, I guess thats a general condition of life, the fast and the slow seem to blend!

If I was asked to describe the last 7 years in a blog post, I wouldn't be able to thats why we are writing a book. But if there was one word that I could use it would be this.

Gratitude

I was asked recently to talk about the sacrifice of moving to Ibiza and doing what we do, weirdly I started to cry! It wasn't because I was sad or wearied it was just that when I accessed my feelings I could only feel a deep sense of gratefulness that God had brought us on this journey. Yes at times it has been challenging and tough but we have learnt so much, been given so much, grown so much that in terms of sacrifice what we got back from coming here far outweighs anything we gave up.

I find myself grateful, grateful for the variety of people I have met here, grateful for what they have taught me. Grateful to all those who have supported us in prayers, visits, giving, living here, serving on teams, phone calls, blog comments, making curries, kind emails it's been phenomenal and we feel our appreciation of church, the body of Christ, has grown so much. If you are reading this right now you are one of those people, so thank you.

Grateful for what has happened with 24-7prayer in Ibiza, the way God has breathed on this work, the way it has grown and will continue to grow.

As a family we have grown, in togetherness, in joint experience and age!!!

Words can't describe fully my gratitude, I often find myself saying "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His love endures forever"


Yes there are challenges ahead, as we think of leaving here we just concentrate on the practical because if we go there with the emotional we would be wrecks. Ibiza has been our lives for 7 years. I love that line from a Mumford & Sons song Awake my Soul "where you invest your love, you invest your life" I feel we have done that which makes the emotional challenge of leaving tremendously hard.

So the Journey home begins, over the next 4 months until the 20th July, we have to work hard at keeping our heads in the game here and stay focussed as we hand over to Charlie and Abby, whats really important is finishing well.

There are significant financial challenges to getting home, if you would like to help with that please get in touch with me and I can send you a little document explaining the costs and challenges.

Primarily I just want to "give thanks to Lord for He is good" and say "His Love endures forever"

Whats next???

For the first time in ages I have had a proper illness, I got some sort of strange flu virus back in the UK which has necessitated antibiotics and bed rest, coughing my lungs up and general weakness and tiredness, thankfully this has all now passed leaving me a little weak but fine.

At last I am also able to furnish you with an update as to what I will be doing upon my return to the UK.

After much prayer the suggestion was that I take on the role of leading 24-7 prayer in Great Britain I have agreed to this and am very excited about the possibilities.

I will start on 1st September as GB Director and team leader.  Although we will live in Diss, I will spend some time in the 24-7 Prayer Guildford office each week working closely with the GB team - GB being England, Scotland and Wales.

I will also lead Just 24-7 - a team seeking tangible ways in which we can make a difference in the lives of the poor and disadvantaged.

In addition I will continue to be the point person for 24-7 Prayer in Ibiza, Ireland and Burgos (Spain) – which I have been doing for a while.

I will also be part of the 24-7 Prayer European communities team.   This means supporting and strengthening 24-7 Prayer communities in Europe, including the UK.

Apart from that, I am hoping to help my friends Steve and Andi on their farm project in Diss, feeding animals, cleaning pens etc, which might sound messy, but actually excites me!

So as you can see I will be a busy little bunny, I am excited and challenged by the year ahead.

What about this Blog? Well obviously for now I will keep it going, but I may start a curious in England blog or something like that!

Happy New Year

Another year draws to an end and I feel it has been a good one. I am very excited about the next year, excited for new beginnings, excited to be handing this work in Ibiza on, excited about returning to the UK.

We have been in England for 2 weeks now and are looking at it with a view to living here.

One thing for certain that we will miss about Ibiza is the light, it's not so much the temperature that we will miss more the very bright clear days. There is a lot of grey in the UK!

Really want to say thank you for following this blog, it will continue throughout 2012 and hopefully you will follow our journey back to the UK and stand with us as we see what is next!

Peace, love and a happy 2012 to you all.

What next?

Season ended for us on Friday!

It's been an exciting week, starting with a baptism, followed by a prostitute we have been working with getting a job so she no longer has to sell herself. Weespent an evening at Sara's 40th birthday which was just another moment of being surrounded by spanish people and the small spanish community that we are part of and feeling like somehow after many years we were making positive inroads on more than one front.

Then on Saturday the workers of San Antonio donated 3 brand new computers for our centre which is fantastic as our other one were nearing there end! They have also made a 1000 euro financial contribution towards our work.

It felt like we ended well. All our team leave today and tomorrow and then for Tracy and myself we can clearly sit and have some time thinking and praying about what is next for us as a couple?

We have had to work really hard at living in the present this summer with many people asking us what next and to be honest at this point we would have to say we don't know. We are however excited about this next season in which we really feel God will reveal to us the next step.

So we begin to pray regularly asking God once again to guide us into new things.