What is it with me?

Do you ever hate yourself for stuff?

I don't mean in a way that is self-loathing or anything like that. Not in a way that means you are going to end up on a shrinks couch for hours of therapy.

Do you ever just get fed up , in a non heavy or depressive sense, with the way you are?
The thing for me is about grumpiness in the mornings! I am dreadful, barking at the kids, Tracy, the dog, other drivers on the road. I need to change but don't seem to be able to pin it.

I hate it when people say about their issues "That’s just the way I am" to excuse behaviour they are unwilling to change.
It's not just the way you are, you can change! Well at least I like to say that, but I can't seem to change in certain areas, no magic prayer wand has been able to shift some of my issues. But I am not prepared to say "That’s just the way I am"

Heres another phrase that annoys me "what you see is what you get" really!!!! are human beings not slightly more complex than the external image they portray?

I like the sentiment behind the phrase but when you think about it, what you see is not what you get when it comes to humans. People see me when I travel back to England I am relaxed, at ease, no pressure, still opinionated, but generally they see a side to me that is different from how I am in my normal everyday life. They don't see all of me, maybe they catch glimpses of the grumpy me, but not all of me. I am more than what you see or read about on this blog.

I know this is obvious but how often do we label people? I hate it, I have done some stuff in the past, which has been very helpful to me in discovering who I am, management tests and grouping people in specific boxes but it is only helpful, when we realise we are more than a label.

Pet hate: People who think they know me! People I don't know who think they know me! People who think they know me because they have seen me on a stage preaching! People who think they know me because I remind them of someone else therefore I must be like that person!

Heres another crazy statement "I call a spade a spade" a good excuse for bluntness and insensitivity! I like clarity and clear communication. I also don't mind confrontation but there are times when it's better not to call a spade a spade, and let others work it out for themselves.

Don't know where that all came from?

Ah grumpy! Yes that’s me, I'm not looking forward to getting old I could become grumpier.