Monday, October 06, 2008


There's something about the sun it has this ability to lighten the world but also lighten our moods. I don't suffer from SAD or anything like that, in fact I like rain and clouds possibly because I am slightly melancholic, but the sun lifts my mood.

Someone once said to me that "Self Awareness is the greatest key to growth" I agree with that on so many levels.

We need to become increasingly aware of who we are and who we are not, for me knowing what I am not has helped me incredibly.

Self awareness also should help us understand our weaknesses but not give us an excuse to continue in them. I am aware of my weaknesses, at least some of them, grace gives me plenty of excuses to keep them.

I'd like to list my weaknesses but that would be indulgent, I'd like to list my strengths but that would be arrogant. How very British!

Maybe we should remain self contained and withdrawn, only truly vulnerable to those we really trust after all if we list our strengths and weaknesses publicly they could be used against us. Although I like what Nouwen says in his book "The Wounded Healer" about making our "own wounded condition available to others as a source of healing"

One of the great things about an open honest self aware life is that it acknowledges weakness and allows others to verbalize their own weak vulnerable conditions. When I was at school we used to play a game called "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" the problem with this game is that someone has to go first! We used to ask the girls to first then renege on our side of the bargain, eventually no one wanted to play. Well I guess I have come to that stage in life were I don't mind going first it could be embarrassing others could refuse to play the game but I am happier when people know me for who I am rather than for who they think I am. If my weakness disturbs them or you then I am sorry, you're probably British.

I'd rather live my life standing on the balcony naked than behind closed doors all covered up.

Anyway just a minor rant, this post has become to long for me to list my weaknesses in detail. Heres the headlines: Selfish, prideful, lustful, arrogant, aggressive, judgmental, hard on myself, shameful, guilt ridden, short tempered, rude, inappropriate, withdrawn, sullen, etc...

Don't worry I am actually very happy the sun is shining, and His strength is perfected in my weakness.


Mie said...

hey, very true. I think it's easiest to go first when you are somewhat "ok" in your weakness, ie. when you basically feel accepted and loved though you are weak, and have found security and identity based in that.. And then you can be one to lead others and be the first to show the weakness, so others may dare to do so too. as you said :)

Mark G said...

Been putting similar thoughts in my journal recently....I have been dumped in an organising role that shows me up as being useless at am very self aware at the moment! But when you are wearing the wrong clothes for too long you can start to worry that you don't look good in any....but maybe it is when they are all taken off that we can be real enough to serve others. Nouwen is right again.

Tanya Heasley said...

The person who most critises me, is me and that's my biggest weakness and an open invitation for the enemy to attack.