Every weekend we are on call so you can be asleep and get a call from the westend to come and help someone, it was mine and Christines turn tonight. I normally show up with my grumpy face on, one minute you are asleep about 15 minutes later you are in the westend surrounded by madness.
We had a call at about 3am to go pick a guy up in the west end, he was falling asleep on a step outside a bar and had lost his mates. Christine and I sat with him for a while but couldn't get any sense out of him. We eventually got hold of his mobile and phoned a few of his friends. We waited with him until they rocked up to help us.
Whilst sitting with him I started to notice a strong smell, the guy had poohed his pants!!! he had been here one day and got so drunk that he had lost control of his bowels. Anyway we got him into the van with his friends and drove them back to their hotel. You breath through your mouth at this point! When we got him there one of his mates, who was also slightly messed up gave him a slap on the backside and told him to get moving. He then turned and shook our hands with his now pooh stained hands!!!! WWJD?
We spent about 5 minutes dissuading them from trying to give us money and then left them. When we parked up we had to spend ages just wiping pooh out of the back of the van, we disinfected it and hopefully it will be ok in the morning. But honestly the smell is rough, Christine is a nurse and we both agreed on the bodily fluid scale that pooh is the worst. Puke for some reason isn't so bad, blood is messy it covers everything, but it doesn't smell.
There is nothing worse than the smell of a drunks pooh at 4 in the morning.