Monday, April 17, 2006
What should I do about the smoking? For years I have struggled to give up smoking many times it has left me feeling a little useless as a christian and a bit of a fraud. Other times I feel the grace of God to help me. I actually started smoking when I was 17 a bit late!! but did it to impress my friends. I guess I am what you would call a light smoker maybe smoking 4 or 5 small cigars a day, sometimes only one actually thinking about it there are days were i have none. The problem is I supplement all of this with nicotine chewing gum for the obvious health reasons. Everytime I try to give up I just find myself becoming the most grumpy git on the planet. Now a days I feel more grace than condemnation but sometimes that doesn't help. Do you know what I mean? Knowing that God loves me no matter what doesn't really give me much of an incentive to give up.
Grace is amazing but I need to marry it with a greater sense of discipline.
I'll let you know how I get on. Although I haven't really got any plans to even try just yet. I am doing fine with the no drinking rule I have imposed on myself, haven't had a drink since January which actually makes me feel good about myself and helps me realise that I can excercise discipline when necessary.
Probably the main reason I want to give up is that I am a perpetual worrier about my health, so every time I smoke I feed my fear. Wierd!
I do have a couple of thought on the whole deal, which is that often in church circles I have felt guilty about smoking and I know others can be made to feel guilty about smoking, but no one and I mean no one that I have ever listened preaches on being fat!
It appears some health risks are okay others are taboo. Anyway just laying it all out, feel I need to be more honest with my blogging and enjoyed getting my last two posts of my chest.
My favourite cigars are Cohibas, I prefer the Lancero it takes two hours to smoke but I can't afford them
at 6:33 PM