Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Paradox and Discovery Rant

Maybe I am just tired!

Maybe I am not opinionated I am learning to live in the question. Certain people find me hard to argue with others don't have a problem at all.

I don't show up the same for everyone. None of us do.

I probably touch a nerve in some people because of how I am yet others don't find me that way at all. We all veiw each other through our own lenses that are filtered by our own life experiences and we all come with our own baggage and experience of people that we project on to others.

Sometimes we see what we want to see.

If you are looking for a specific problem or flaw in someone you will find it. You will make it be there, you will find others to reinforce that it is there, you will delete the times it isn't there. I know this because I do it.

Well, what am I saying. Basically you get what you look for.

I guess some of this boils down to the fact that loads of people have argued with me over the years and I have had to back down and say sorry. Also on further reflection does opinionated have to equate with strength of belief and the strength with which that belief is presented. Because it shouldn't.

In all honesty I like to hold things strongly and passionatly and don't like the idea that I can be patronized or made to feel like a non intellectual because I can be definite. I have had this stuff in the past sometimes complimentary sometimes a dig, "Brian you are a Bulldozer or Barrow boy" thats bullshit.

Or because I can rant and rave on a stage and get passionate does not mean I am some retro 80's style church leader. No one seems to give a toss that Billy Connoly can rant and rave, maybe the church is just getting a little retentive about strong leaders.

So what! let me be me, I'll change the stuff that God confronts in me but I am not going to become some kind of pretence intellectual nancy boy.

I'm just letting it flow now, may get a grip later but don't really care if i don't.

Not to sure this isn't just me being angry....

Sod it I am going to press the publish post button anyway.


Anonymous said...

one character trait that i hold above many others is "being real". we may be right; we may be wrong; but what you see is what you get.

what i see when i look at you brian, and read this post, is a man who is being shaped and changed. you are sharing from your heart the things you struggle and wrestle with. you are being 'real'.

thank you ....

alamedero said...

The most important thing is that God sees who you and I are and is thrilled with what he sees. He isn't particularly impressed with sin or immature behaviour, but he has this amazing ability to see past all that to who we really are.

And if other people are out of line with God... well... They only have one alternative! Recognize that they are wrong! ha!

Karen said...

Dude...there you are. Yay, you're back! i was a bit got a bit woosy. heh heh

You are living out your leadership the way it was designed to be lived. No one can do what you do the way you do it. Wow, there's a tongue twister... don't say that sentence 10x times fast!! [..uhh. wait. i just tried it and it was fine. very easy to say fast. never mind.]

there's nothing passive about you. I hope that never changes! your style reflects your life: all or nothing. complete transparency. a voice that pushes us to think outside what is familiar and comfortable.

and besides...we like the superstar aura you have on stage. i don't know about anyone else but i have to refrain myself from wanting to run to the stage and scream and stretch out my hands hoping you will smile my way. heh heh...

Brian Heasley said...

As long as no one throws their knickers at me I think i will be okay

Anonymous said...

Well said Brian. I think we're afraid of strength and the masculine. We can be so PC and in touch with our feminine side that we negate the very thing God created us to be. How can the masculine live alongside the feminine?