Thursday, October 05, 2006


What do you think about honesty? I like it as a concept, my 10 year old son is sitting here asking me about myself for a homework project! I have been very honest with him about my past but told him to leave some out, my Dad is here as well. So it's a little embarrasing having to talk with my son about things which I know caused my father pain. We are doing it all in very good humour, which helps.

The past is the past it has passed.

I get embarresed thinking about some of the things I did when I was younger, sometimes It links a little with shame. I do feel shame I know we shouldn't but in this blog I have tryed to communicate with humour and honesty some of the lighter stories and incidents I have been involved in. But what about if I really went to the dark side?

I'll only write it if I think it helps me, the biggest thing I think about shame is that it ties us up and eats away at us because we dare not tell anyone.

I am not going to root around around in my head trying to dig things up, but if something surfaces I will talk about it.


jonah said...

I've dealt with a lot of shame in my life too. One thing that I have learned is that shame is something that God created. Imagine that none of us had any shame, no remorse, no conscience... What a terrible place the world would be. But I think that God intended shame to be temporary and strongly linked to our behaviour. I don't think there is anything wrong when we are ashamed of something that we have done if that something is actually an act that we should be ashamed of. Legitimate shame is good because it reminds us of our need for forgiveness. And with forgiveness, the shame is gone... great!

Illegitimate shame (shame that is linked to our identity or that has been communicated to us about things that aren't worth being ashamed of) is tremendously damaging. Being ashamed of who we are rather than what we have done is a terrible thing. If God created us, given us our identity and calls us precious, how can we be ashamed of that? Nothing we could do or say could ever change that.

Honesty is great as long as the driving force behind it is unconditional love. The moment it turns selfish or self-centred, it loses its greatness and can sometimes be blunt, inconsiderate and rude. But I don't think I've ever known you to do that, honestly.

Have fun with your family out there!

Brian Heasley said...

Thanks Jonah, I think the shame I sometimes feel is for stuff I have repented of and been sorted on, I just get these moments were I cringe at things. Thanks for your comment it's so helpful, helps me catergorize what I am feeling. I think I am rude and abrupt sometimes but working at getting better. Cheers Jonah

jonah said...

Are you? I've never thought that. I think you are loud and funny, but then I've not been around you that often.

Be careful you aren't too hard on yourself!!! Don't turn into meek and mild Brian. That would be a loss for the human race!