Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Seized by the power of a great affection

I am sitting here in my car writing on my laptop looking out over the mediteranean sea on a grey day, in front of me is wasteland, I see a still sea and lots of clouds, the sun will soon break through. In the distance there are small rocky islands that look abandoned on one of these islands I can see a light house. The light isn’t shining because there is enough natural light.

Why do I do what I do, why talk about these things on a blog? I don’t need reassurance, I have just been trying to make sense of my thoughts on why I need to be filled with kindness, why is it so important to follow your dreams, trying to process why leaders who have forsaken their dreams for the comfort zone would cause me to get so angry, all the stuff I have been blogging about recently. Why does lack of transparency wind me up?

Even now I feel annoyed that there is a constraint on just how much you can let rip on a blog, I understand that we must be responsible in this hour, but we need to tell it as it is. Don’t we?

I have been re-reading Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning

Last chapter, he talks of a phrase used to describe being “born again” it was this “I was seized by the power of a great affection”.

That is why I am who I am, I have been seized by the power of a great affection, I feel His passion, His passion for me, His passion that my life should not be mediocre, His passion to see me become all I could be, His passion that allows me to be my raw unadulterated self, His passion that grips me, and drives me, His passion that is my crutch when I am weak, His passion that allows me to speak to Him and tell Him all that I am. His passion that sees all my weaknesses yet somehow still considers me worthy of his love.

I am weak, full of sin, slightly annoying, arrogant at times, lustful, deceitful, self referenced, selfish, manipulative and angry. Yet I have been seized by the power of a great affection and that absolutely amazes me.

An Old Russian proverb “Those who have the disease called Jesus will never be cured” Please no one try and cure me I am happy being infected by Christ.

Bring it on, whatever the church is to become, however it looks in the future, lets never be to cool to be passionate.

I am seized by the power of a great affection, therefore I will be kind, I will try to follow my dreams. Forsaking what is behind lets us press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of us, don’t settle for less.

Someone once said, “A rut is grave with both ends kicked out” don’t get stuck in a rut.

Be seized by the power of a great affection.

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J-Mac said...

Yeah I know what you mean. Sometimes we keep our passions pent up for fear of getting it wrong or reflecting badly on our family/church/friends (especially when blogging!).

As I remember someone saying once:

For God's sake give us some reality!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Brian, you have put things in a really cool context. The best thing about your blog is sometimes you can really give others a lift. I needed that.Bring on some kind passionate reality. your brother John.

Billy Kennedy said...

Thanks Brian. That blogged moved me.