Monday, January 22, 2007
Had one of those nights last night. You know the ones were you can't sleep and you get things in your head and then you wake up in the morning, wondering what on earth you were getting stressed about.
I got hit by a wave of melancholy at about midnight. Just thinking about how quick life goes by, how my children won't be children for long and how that life just keeps going. I got to the point of wishing I could hold the moment, just keep it, not move on, enjoy it forever. Probably just the fact that the boys are getting older and that it's harder to carry Ellis up the stairs than it used to be, he's eleven and very heavy.
I should have got up read a book and had a hot chocolate or something but I lay there like a numpty with this all endlessly revolving around in my head without any conclusions. I let it play out until eventually about 2am I must have dropped off.
Then when I woke up no stress, no worries it was a very easy thought to deal with; Gods in control, I need to trust Him and basically thats life! People grow up, get old and die, why stress it happens to us all.
So feeling cool today, maybe my reflective mood came about because it's my birthday on Friday, I am only going to be 37, but when I was younger that seemed old!!!!
Do you ever have arguments before you go to bed? Tracy and myself do sometimes and they are always the worst ones and always the silliest ones.
at 4:23 PM