Rattle and Hum

Just listening to an album I haven't listened to in years, Rattle and Hum, not meant to be one of U2's best albums, but I like it.

In God part 2 there is a great line

" listening to a singer on the radio late last night, says he's gonna kick the darkness til it bleeds daylight"

I am very busy at the moment, 24-7prayer have a little book coming out in June called "Writing on the Wall" it's a compilation of prayers from around the world that have been written in 24-7 prayer rooms. I have been involved with this project for a number of years and just need to spend some time on it, so I have writers block for everything else!

Here's one of the prayers:

So Alone
Written by a young woman
who had attempted suicide several times after losing her sister:

I have many questions. Lots are difficult.
God, if my sister hadn’t died, perhaps I wouldn’t be where I am now.
Perhaps things would be better with my parents. Maybe I would feel “normal”?
I might be able to talk (share my deep feelings with someone)
and not get so desperate. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so empty.
So distant (afraid of what others may think of me).
I put on such a brave face yet inside I feel weak and ready to crumble.
I can’t get close to people, God. I take a long time to trust them.
And when I do, I am scared I will be rejected and pushed away.
I have such a fear when I look at old people.
It may sound strange, but—as I see their bodies and how they have deteriorated—I feel scared.
I don’t want to be like that.

* * *
I have tears trapped inside me from years and years.
I have bottled up feelings tangled inside.
I find it so hard to believe that anyone would love me—
You know, love me without any strings attached.
If I do something wrong—make any mistakes—surely I should be punished? Made to feel small?
* * *
I was once in my mother’s womb—I felt the big closeness. Yet now I feel distant.
I don’t feel close to anyone. I haven’t for years. I’ve coped alone.
But now, God, I can’t. I’m fed up. I give up.
I am so sick of being alone. I need peace.
My heart feels physically tangled up. Twisted and torn, hurt and broken.
* * *
I ask you today to begin to heal me.
Save me before it’s too late.
Out of anyone, you can.
* * *
I love you. Have your way in me.