Friday, April 27, 2007

Cheaters never prosper

My email is now working so it’s back to the old one for all you who know it.

I take Spanish lessons for 2 hours 3 times a week. It’s pretty good I am in a class with mainly Muslim ladies from Morocco. I enjoy the challenge of learning a new language although it is taking me forever.

Anyway this morning we had a written test, I hate tests and this one was particularly difficult because I had forgotten we were having it and hadn’t done any preparation.

Basically it was irregular Spanish verbs, there are about 6 different ways you can write each verb.

So we sit down to do the test and my teacher is sitting talking to a new girl who hasn’t got to do it. I am struggling, my mind has gone blank (well not blank, there was nothing there in the first place) everyone is quiet except my teacher who is chatting away loudly to the new girl. I am just stirring at the paper thinking that once again I am going to look like the class dunce!

Then I noticed a work book sitting on the table next to me and I remember that all the verbs we are being asked to write out for our test are in that book on page 34, the work book started to speak to me.

It said “go on Brian just have a shady look, you know you want to, she’s talking, she’ll never notice, I have the answers, you want them, you know you want them, come and get them!!!” The book continued to speak seductively to me, it started gently at first but the voice got stronger, firmer more persuasive to the point were it was unbearable.

So I had a quick look around the class, everyone had their heads down doing the test and my teacher was still sitting with her back to me talking to the new girl. That’s when I broke, I could take it no more, oh the joy of a perfect result, this thought and the voice of the book beckoned me on. One long illicit glance into the dark pleasures of my level 1 Spanish book and I would be a happy man. So without hesitation I opened the book slightly to look at all the answers!

The moment I did this I noticed an atmospheric change in the room, silence in the class, I looked up and my teacher was stirring straight at me!! She just kept stirring, long and hard with a look of hurt and annoyance in her eyes and then she said “trampa” which when I asked Tracy about later means “cheat”. ( At first I thought she was calling me a dirty tramp or even a trampoline, which is why I need more lessons)

I felt dreadful, I became 14 again, I cheated at a test. The book seduced me and I ended up looking more of a fool than I would have done by just failing the test.

What’s worse is my Spanish teacher forgave me and told me she would give me another chance to do it on Monday.


Ivonne said...

Reading this made me feel a kid again! the trepidation of desiring a quick glance at the answer book! The good old don't miss them!!! (",)
Have a little confidence in yourself, I am sure you'll do well on Monday.

Anonymous said...

stirring or staring?

Carlos said...

omg so funny...God wanted u to get caught :P


Yo copie
Tu copiaste
El copio
Nosotros copiamos
Vosotros copiareis
Ustedes copian
Ellos copian

like that?
I always fail my tests when I cheat for some weird reason I can't even cheat right.

Brian Heasley said...

She was stirring, she had this huge pot cradled in her arms and was stirring it with a wooden spoon throughout the whole lesson. I forgot to mention that minor detail.....

Tanya Heasley said...

Tut, tut Brian. Como se dice en espanol naughty? ;)

Hablo solo un poco espanol, but this is how I remember the good verbs (words that have the same endings)

habl(ar) to speak
habl(o) I speak
habl(a) you, he, she, it speak
habl(amos) we speak
habl(an) they, you speak

I'm sure you know more spanish than you think and I hope that book doesn't seduce you again.

Karen said...

Have you ever considered writing the answers on the bottom or side of your shoe? Then, while taking the test you just cross your leg over so you can take a peek. It's a much less conspicuious cheating method! DOh! I mean--You bad bad boy!!! Shameful!! HAHAHA

That was quite funny. Can't say I wouldn't have done it myself (I'm sure that surprises everyone).

lisa said...

now you know why i never take formal lessons in the countries i move to. the horror of having to fail a language lesson is too much for me!

Kirk Bartha said...

hilarious, i still have cheat notes in my bible from back in my college days... I had these notes written in my bible and it didn't matter because none of it was on the exam... i still preach with that bible and get reminded of my cheat notes all the time...

i'll be starting spanish soon... i think i'll buy Rossetta language tools unless something better comes along, like a mad trampen' Ibithan!

karenpadgett said...

oh brian. Love it!! I laughed out loud. You are priceless. This is why I'm proud you're my friend. I'm still chuckling. You are a breath of fresh air. Don't ever change...

dave wiggins said...

haha, thats cat mate. although everytime i cheat at board games or team games i always tend to win. maybe you're just a crap cheater, which is probably a good thing to be.

Anonymous said...

I cheated a wee bit at a game of monopoly a couple of weeks ago. It felt good.

Also, I tried some of your links to other blogs but they didn't work, told me it was a 'Bad Request'... Just so ya know.

Jenelle said...

It's a nice story that she forgave you. Did you forgive her for calling you a tramp?

Brian Heasley said...

Which links aren't working Indya?

Mimo said...

Haha, the title is great! And love the honesty Brian! It's challenging and refreshing.

This reminds me of a time in 8th grade (In Finland you are 14 then) and how a guy in my class cheated in a Swedish language test by looking from me. (I helped) Our teacher questioned us later, because he had exactly the same mistakes as I did! And he happened to sit next to me..And he happened to be better in atheletics than Swedish..norally not getting an A! Don't remember if we got a punishment..But don't think I ever agreed again to help someone cheat!