Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Family photo, my dad is the small grey man in the middle, his name is Billy or should I say The Reverend William Alexander Heasley, my brothers left to right, Me, Paul, Matthew, john and Evan.

Do you think that ego could drive people to blog? It does me sometimes....In fact ego could drive us to do a lot of things.

Sometimes I wonder about ego and the fine line between being egotistical and loving yourself. Loving yourself can sound a little egotistical maybe being happy in your own skin would be better.

It's a big one, but most of the time I love myself. I don't know if this links but one thing that can stress me is what do others think of me! but then I go up and down with that, sometimes I convince myself I don't care, other times I do care.

I think we can live our lives like this and I am not to sure it will ever change. One day I like myself the next day I worry about ego, one day I don't care what people think the next I do. Actually even breaking it into days is too defined, one minute I don't care the next minute I do.

It's not like I am all over the place emotionally or mentally but I fluctuate in what I feel about the world and how I respond to it. Maybe thats what makes us interesting, we don't just live instinctively like animals.


J-Mac said...

Blogging can certainly be self-indulgent but I've found it can be helpful on the jouney as well, not least for Alain right now.

I think that 'ego' has little to do with loving yourself and more with self-involvement and selfishness. I think we can dislike who we are but still have a big ego because all we think about is a fluctuating positive/negative/comparison kind of way.

I worry about this too but have found that the first step in dealing with it is the recognition of it.

Karen said...

First, I'll say--nice family. Five boys?? Any sisters?

Secondly, it's a thoughtful post. I have found blogging to be an interesting way for self-expression. It's been satisfying for me and I've enjoyed getting to know people out in the blogger world!

These days it seems that people don't readily reveal much of themselves in person. I guess its too risky. But putting my thoughts and life stories out there on a blog has been quite the self-discovery--very freeing (mostly). God has used it to help me grow to where I actually like myself just for who I am. Yes, I'm still affected by others' opinions of me at times, but for the most part, I'm comfortable in my own skin, which in turn give me the ability to better love others (still needs a lot of work).

john heasley said...

i look the oldest.

shawnman said...

Blogging... i wander if it doesn't have something to do w/ the fact that our society is soo superficial? meaning that we have no problem telling complete strangers our life stories on the web, but when it comes to face to face, we shy off... at least on here we can hide behind the fact that we'll most likely never meet the people reading these face to face. therefore, we figure why not? but when it comes to sitting down w/ someone, we hide behind a nice fake smile and we don't want to let them in because we may think we're the only ones dealing w/ certain issues. i'm not talking about airing your dirty laundry out for the whole world to see. but w/ your good friends, how much do they know about you? can they tell by your tone of voice if your lying to them?

self-esteem/identity.... i think its one thing to be comfortable w/ who you are. its another thing to be how you present it. if you present yourself as cocky and arrogant. thats just flat out annoying. personally, i'm not sure i like the idea of self-esteem to a degree... shouldn't our identity come solely from Christ? in the power of His Resurrection...? personaly, i'm really fed up w/ superficial ministry. i see soo much of it on tv and in the world. whatever happened to the Power of God? our "wonderful little seeker sensitive" ideology really doesn't do much for the real world. we put a bandaid on a bullet wound instead of addressing the real issues. i've been cussed out already for being a Christian. i just rolled my eyese meanwhile thinking "why don't you just hit me already? get it over w/?"

so what did ever happen to the Power of God? anyone?

blessings ya'll.

Ivonne said...

I agree with J-Mac and I share a common fear of blogging and its ego-pumping power. However, I have found that like every form of writing and art, it can be increadibly cathartic and inspirational; I think I am growing into a more 'well-rounded' person as the result of entering in contact with not only people who are like-minded, but with a much wider community and with a variety of belief systems. I feel increasingly challenged on what I believe and why I believe it and on how to make my Faith effective in our society.

Also, re: ego-pumping - I recall Jesus saying 'love others as you love yourself'. If you love yourself, you'll do a much better job at seeing the beauty within the others! dontcha think?! (",)

Ivonne said...

PS: thanks for updating the blogroll! I feel like I belong now! ihihih! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Brown shoes, Brian?

Re: 'ego' - is that the opposite of humble?

Ephesians 4:1-6
Full-grown Christians
1 I am being held in prison because of working for the Lord. I ask you from my heart to live and work the way the Lord expected you to live and work. 2 Live and work without pride. Be gentle and kind. Do not be hard on others. Let love keep you from doing that. 3 Work hard to live together as one by the help of the Holy Spirit. Then there will be peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit. There is one hope in which you were called. 5 There is one Lord and one faith and one baptism. 6 There is one God. He is the Father of us all. He is over us all. He is the One working through us all. He is the One living in us all.

Bit of a challenge, eh? Doin' a Bible study in church at mo re fellowship and how we unite - or not! - with our fellow-worshippers. Can we unite(v1-6) in our diversity(v7-13) and attain maturity(v14-16)?

Thanks for diff views!

Brian Heasley said...

Karen, 5 boys no girls, would have liked a sister, but we just treat my brother John like a girl instead.

I know the old adage when it comes to shoes "No brown in Town" but recently i had seen an upsurge in brown shoes at various functions so i decided to live a little, I bought the shoes in a charity shop as well as the suit! Nice shoes Loakes, i blogged about them months ago.

I thought the opposite of humble was proud! I understand were you are going with it though and like it. Ego = self, battle with ego = battle with self?

Loves those words from paul very awe inspiring.

Yvonne you are part of the family

Shawnman thank you, what is a "wonderful little seeker service"? were you being sarcastic?

J-Mac yes, self awareness is the key.

Anonymous said...

John Heasley, you are also the handsomest!

john heasley said...

2 things,
they do treat me like a girl, but I am the prettiest

Karen said...

John, did you post that anonymous comment yourself?? I know how brothers are--I have 4 of them.

shawnman said...

seeker sensitive: Brian, i was trying to be overly sarcastic for a reason. i would define 'seeker sensitive' as a time when we don't mention the Cross of Christ or anything that might possibly be deemed as 'offensive' to those seeking/non Christians. whereby we think we're winning them over but truthfully, we're not providing answers.

now, i do believe that we have to be sensitive in a sense at certain times and in ways. but when presenting the gospel message, i get very queasy in my Spirit when the word 'repentance' is lacking. when we just say things in the area of coming to Christ for our own personal gain and we don't mention things like dying to our own flesh and our own desires and giving our lives to Christ for Him to use us as He sees fit.

needless to say, i don't really like the 'American gospel' idea much.

just an example: I believe it was Leonard Ravenhill who once said "there's no room for you AT the cross, but there's plenty of room for you ON the cross."

in a way, i'm a spiritual grandchild of the Brownsville Revival. i actually just graduated from a school that was at one time aligned w/ it. so i like the hard messages that make you examine your own life spiritually.

all in all, i'm not a fan of the American Gospel Enterprise. where is the repentance message in soo many messages? thats what i'm referring to.

sorry for the length.

Brian Heasley said...

Thanks Shawman, don't worry about long posts they give me something to read over breakfast!

Donuts said...

Blimey, what a picture. Move over the sopranos, the Heasleys are coming!!!!!