I have just got in its 5.15am, can't sleep although I feel weary. We just started with our 4th two week team this weekend so I have been very busy, also busy (not the best word) spending quality time with the family.
We have 7 people helping us for the next couple of weeks and its great to have them here.
I don't know why but today I have felt a weary emptiness, I was sitting by the kebab shop a few hours ago watching 2 scottish guys haggle with a prostitute to see if she would do a "two for the price of one" deal, it just wears you out. Tonight I witnessed quite a few drug deals. Ben was out and he saw a man put five lines of coke out on a table in open view of everyone and just start snorting.
This is a beautiful island and I don't want to mis represent it, natural beauty, creative excellence, a fantastic place for families to come on holiday, beautiful clubs, superb music and loads of sunshine. But it still makes me weary.
dawn and I have just spent the last hour with a girl getting her back to her hotel, her friends had abandoned her, she puked all over the inside of the van totally missing our bucket, when we pulled up at the hotel a taxi driver called me a "puta" which isn't very nice, but he would never have taken her home (they don't do puking drunks), I didn't have time to get out and explain, but it just cut into me a little, here we are trying to help and some guy is swearing at me, because he thinks I am stealing his business!!!!
After much stress and loads of help from a porter and security guard we get this girl out and along come her friends who had abandoned her, the first thing they did was take a photograph, can you believe that? We left her with them and then came back, for 15 minutes we cleaned the van out as by the morning it would stink. So now I am weary.
I'll be okay, I just need Gods heart to bleed into my heart, then I'll be fine.
Galatians 6: 9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Well the suns coming up and loads of cockerels are crowing so I should get to bed, my back hurts which isn't helping my sleep and probably contributing to my weariness..... goodnight.
10 comments:
I'm not surprised you are so weary with what you all face night after night. Praying strength, grace, energy and joy for all of you. And Sabbath. Yea, don't forget Sabbath.
All our love.
Robb & Sally
Yeah I'm starting to believe it! Hope to catch up with ya when you're over...
I wonder sometimes if the wearyness isn't a reflection of God's heart - still a sense of love and involvement, but weary as he watches his creations - those made in his image - engage in self destruction?
May you know the rest of God's peace in these next days, and also his heart as you continue to love on those who inhabit the gutters of the world.
I have been thinking about your story about leaving the girl back to her hotel and her friends taking a photo. I think it is amazing that somewhere there will be a physical representation of your kindness and outreach work that someday she or one of her friends may look back upon and be able to pinpoint the exact moment God entered their life.
What you do counts. It really counts for something. Standing here on the sidelines fills me with a feeling of utter frustration and leaves me wanting to be able to do more. Never forget that you are out there on the front line saving lives. All soldiers get weary but they know why they are there and this keeps them going when it's tough.
I believe you are out there for a reason and are an extension of God's love and mighty power.
Keep on keepin on.
Keep it up mate. You know I aint a religious guy but I think what you're doing is great. I've listened to all your podcasts on the walk to and from work today. Great to hear your voice. Take care of yourself, Tracy and the boys.
Yours in the right kind of weariness. I wish mine was the same: I have a deep weariness of the soul serving my time in a defunct and destructive financial system. A system that makes the things that you find wearisome attractive as a way out of mundane reality.
I was dreaming about you guys on and off all night last night - I wish I was spiritual enough to say that i turned those dreams to prayers - but in reality I was too tired to pray.
Trust in God and do the right.
what i'd do...have a pray, kick the devil in the nuts, then go to sleep..lovely
don't let the crap one get you down, you know Jesus was weary even though he did good, means your normal mate...i'll have a little pray before i sleep today.
Just a small town Iowa Mom, former missionary, praying for you today. I found your blog through Lisa's site. You are doing the work of a sacrificial Christ follower, and as a result you are being the hands and feet of Jesus. Bless you as you pour out love in His name.
Rest knowing He sees you and loves you not for what you do, but because you are His son.
Sarah
I hear ya on this one and can relate. I really struggle with my perspective and emotional state when I've lacked the amount of sleep needed to feel healthy. Lately, I wish I were out on the streets reaching out to kids/people in need, rather then it being right here in my own home--IN MY FACE! DEVASTATING A MOTHER'S HEART!!
Hang in there, my friend. And I will too. I love what you guys are doing.
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