Do you ever get that sense that there is something that lies just beyond your grasp? Out of reach. You´re not even to sure what it is, a bit like a dream you had that you can´t remember, but you know you had it!!
I sometimes feel like this in my quiet time, theres more than I am experiencing yet I just can´t get to that place of inner stillness to truly feel it.
Not that I think I am that bad at being still, I just find that my mind gets crowded and it affects my stillness.
In many ways I find I can achieve mental stillness more when engaged in a physical activity. A walk helps me to empty myself, I concentrate on the repetitive nature of plodding along and somehow I feel stiller.
Yet still it is not enough, I sometimes like the idea of being a hermit, but I know I would get bored as I like being with people.
I do quite enjoy my own company, I enjoy travelling alone and sometimes on a plane or in an airport I hear more, feel more, see more.
Anyway the point is at this precise moment I think that I am missing something, I am not stressed by this, in fact I feel very peaceful. I have a sense of anticipation mingled with a little frustration that there is more to know, more to learn.
What is it? It´s a mystery, a puzzle, maybe a life long quest.
It´s God, the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, immutable, eternal being that is God.
I know so little about Him, not even the tip of the tip of the iceberg of who He is.
I like that, the mystery, the constant journey, the sense that God will always be just out of reach, close yet far, intimate yet distant, in me yet out there, revealed yet hidden, audible yet silent......