Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Out of reach

Do you ever get that sense that there is something that lies just beyond your grasp? Out of reach. You´re not even to sure what it is, a bit like a dream you had that you can´t remember, but you know you had it!!

I sometimes feel like this in my quiet time, theres more than I am experiencing yet I just can´t get to that place of inner stillness to truly feel it.

Not that I think I am that bad at being still, I just find that my mind gets crowded and it affects my stillness.

In many ways I find I can achieve mental stillness more when engaged in a physical activity. A walk helps me to empty myself, I concentrate on the repetitive nature of plodding along and somehow I feel stiller.

Yet still it is not enough, I sometimes like the idea of being a hermit, but I know I would get bored as I like being with people.

I do quite enjoy my own company, I enjoy travelling alone and sometimes on a plane or in an airport I hear more, feel more, see more.

Anyway the point is at this precise moment I think that I am missing something, I am not stressed by this, in fact I feel very peaceful. I have a sense of anticipation mingled with a little frustration that there is more to know, more to learn.

What is it? It´s a mystery, a puzzle, maybe a life long quest.

It´s God, the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, immutable, eternal being that is God.

I know so little about Him, not even the tip of the tip of the iceberg of who He is.

I like that, the mystery, the constant journey, the sense that God will always be just out of reach, close yet far, intimate yet distant, in me yet out there, revealed yet hidden, audible yet silent......


dean irwin said...

hi mate, just wanted to say I heard you when you were over in Emmanuel and its an amazing work you guys are doing over there, really enjoyed you speaking and finding out what goes on and exactly what work you do, be praying for yas, God bless


Kris Goudie said...

First of all, welcome back to the cyberspace! Nice to have u back with your blogging! Enjoyed todays post Brian! I have been feeling out of focus recently. I worte a post on it the other day. Sumtimes need to hear or read other peoples blogs to get a bit of encouragement. I have been working non-stop and doing a bit of journalism work as part of BBC Radio Pudsey for Children In Need. Been writing briefs, news, travel etc and out with reporters as well,rest of the time spent in studios and researching. But i feel like I havent had any time for God! You know that way that your life flies by you and work and sleep are the only things happening?? well thats me at the moment. I am tryin to focus a bit now and talk this out with God... Im sure he understands the hustle and bustle of it all.. Busy week ahead! Got the BBC1 Children in need programme on Friday...So should be good..

Would be kool to havea chat one day ..maybe i could join ur church on sunday via skype... sit a laptop on a chair with a video call.. Wud be as if i was there.. We need to try this out.. Ill maybe give u a ring on sunday nite for a natter. Hopefully in a good mood after Scotland hump Italy on the Saturday! :)

Take care.. Tell Tracy and the boys I said hi..



Rachel said...

Hi Brian! I love this post!

It reminds me of something that often amazes me....the fact that we will NEVER EVER know everything about God....he will ALWAYS have new stuff to teach us and something new to surprise us with.... how awesome is that???

Love it!

Rach xxxxx