Thursday, March 26, 2009

Bat attack

I was sitting in on my own last night channel hopping, when I stumbled across a movie called "30 days of night" I don't normally watch horror stuff but I found my self getting sucked in.

Basically it's about an alaskan town that comes under attack from vampire type humans. The lead vampire looked a bit like one of the guys from Sigour ros, obviously they where all very pale and had a kind of icelandic vibe going on so it was easy to make the link. It was a slightly crappy but jumpy movie!

Anyway I get comfortable and settle in to watch the movie, I put on a little lamp, crank up the fire and sit on my own in our 800 year old high beamed, dimly lit, living room, the wind is blowing outside, the front door keeps creaking and a faint howling is coming from the chimney as the wind scuffs the top of it.

I lean forward to turn the TV up when suddenly out from under one of the arches in our living room flies a bat, missing my head by inches! I jumped out of my skin. The bat then proceeded to bomb around the living room, with me ducking and diving and generally getting jumpy, this lasted about 3 minutes it eventually landed on the floor about 6 feet from my dog who was asleep in front of the fire, he raised his head looked at the bat then looked at me, sighed as if to say "you deal with it" and then went back to sleep. I'm going to rename him killer!!!

Anyway I am trying to watch this movie with a bat sitting on the floor about 8 feet in front of me, I can't focus, so I go and get one of the boys fishing nets and put it over the bat. I can't actually get the bat caught in the net, just covered up. So I decide to leave it there and when someone else comes home we can both sort it out. So I settle back down to watch the movie with the bat safely under a bright yellow childs fishing net.

About 5 minutes later I look across at the net and the bat has crawled out from under it, it lifts it's slowly head and turns looks up at me with a menacing grin, by now I am just thinking about walking over and stamping on it. So I jump up to kill it, I'm thinking if I stamp on it I can then drive a stake through it's heart and end this nightmare, and as I do this the bat rears up, takes off and heads straight at me. This is all happening to the background noise of shrieking and screaming, melancholic, icelandic looking, sigour ros type vampires!

By now the dog jumps up and starts chasing the bat, which is totally useless, because he is about a foot tall and the bat is now flying around about at about 6 feet in the air! I grab the net and start swinging it around trying to catch the bat, the background noise has intensified, and it's all getting a bit frantic. Eventuallly the bat lands on a wall, I wait to see if it morphs into some form of human, it doesn't, I see my moment, I pounce and trap it in the net, this time it gets tangled up. So I quickly open the door and ping it out into the night air, the dog runs out after it and I quickly bolt the door, switch the lights on and pour myself a drink.

5 minutes later there is a scratching at the door, it's my dog wanting back in, phew!!!

We both settle down in front of the fire and watch the rest of the movie


Anonymous said...

Thank you. A laugh like that has made my morning. I'll go do some work now :)

kiwipaddy said...

apart from the endangered species and protection orders on bats (in this country anyway!), this is absolutely hilarious!!! thanks for cheering us all up!!!

lisa said...

Love that it happened during that particular film. That's funny. Oh and you probably know this already but a tennis racket is perfect for hitting bats. They have a hard time feeling it coming so it's effective.