Thursday, September 21, 2006

I feel like poop

Thats how it is right now, but i will get over it.

I suddenly had a bit of fear today that I shouldn't write about this stuff on my blog. I have witnessed a few blogs recently were the comments section has become very judgemental, found it sad and scary.

I was just looking at the irish methodist youth site I am speaking at there conference in October, they have me down as the speaker and then a couple of links one saying what I do the other saying who I am. The "who I am one" directs them straight to this blog. So I had a moment thinking "Oh No!!" they are going to click on this and the first thing they read is I quit smoking today!!

You see I am big on transparency,in one way I think it is more important than holiness. Before you comment I do believe in holiness but what stops us from being truly holy is a mindset that says "I can't admit weakness".

When is it okay to talk about our weaknesses, I long for community that allows true vulnerability. Personally I think it is helpful to others when we admit we struggle. I heard of an american pastor who said "I could never let one of my flock see me with a beer in hand, it could cause them to sin" but isn't that wrong, doesn't it demean peoples ability to be discerning and make their own choice, doesn't it fly in the face of discipleship. Surely we don't sin because we see others doing things that can lead to sin!

I hate hiddeness, although I never reveal all on this blog, sometimes I am tempted to, but Tracy stops me. She is protecting me, thats one of the reasons I love her.

Anyway I feel like poop.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

After reading the comments on your last post, I have to admit that it seems that you've found a community here before which you can be reasonably transparent.

2 days in... Keep it going!!!

Brian said...

yeah I like this little blog community everybody has been most helpful. Thanks guys

Anonymous said...

Brian,
I was raised in a very legalistic home and church, so being transparent was a hard thing to grasp. God has changed me so much in this area. I too tend to be a little to transparent at times, but it makes for less secrects and more happieness.

e

Anonymous said...

Less secrets too. :-)

Anonymous said...

Don't have much to say Brian except that the link to Alain's blog on your page doesn't work...

Keep it up with the whole no smoking thing, although it is hard to imagine you sin cigarro... but I'm proud of you!

Love indya

Anonymous said...

brian, i just tried to sign you up on a very, very patronising 'quit smoking' style website which promised to send you a daily motivational message to help you give up... i know you'll be sad to learn that i have failed. i can only imagine how very helpful a bunch of 'motivational quotes' might be for you right now. Anyway, deep down i do respect you enormously for quitting. And meanwhile Tracey, Ellis, Dan and especially the dog are in my prayers. love ya pete g

Brian said...

Thanks Linda, thats reassuring.

Mimosa said...

your honesty's great! :-) Blessings Mimosa from Finland