Monday, November 26, 2007

I Need a Man

I have some thoughts on manhood, probably sparked by conversations we had with a number of girls who came out on the teams this summer. They were lamenting the lack of seemingly good men out there!

I do wonder if the longer a woman goes without a man the choosier she becomes, she has established a single adult life and he has to fit in with her, the other view could be that the longer a woman goes without a man she becomes more desperate.

What makes a good man? Obviously I am going to use generalisations and be quite self referenced but here goes.

Sensitive yet strong, is that possible? I think so. We need to be willing to express our feelings and even on occasion cry, but then not to teary some men just use this to win women over, it’s pathetic. I cried at my wedding I was overwhelmed by the beauty of my wife. Woman in general like to listen but we shouldn’t abuse this wonderful skill by always talking about our problems and issues to win the sympathy vote. Strong for me means being able to get a grip, hold it together, take control but also have the ability to release control allow someone else to hold it together and strong enough to cope with someone else being in charge.

Love God with a passion, love your children with a passion, be passionate about football (or whatever it is that floats your boat) oh! And love your woman with passion, she should occasionally have to tell you to calm down and take your brain out of your willy.

Romantic: Women need perfume, flowers, underwear, jewellery and nice food. It’s easy just flash the cash and make it happen. I have also found that its good to clean the house.

Decisive: make a decision, any decision just be decisive it’s okay to be wrong, but please be decisive.

Say sorry,
don’t just say it because you think that is what people want to hear, live life with the knowledge that you won’t always be right and you will make wrong decisions, be humble enough to admit this and please verbalise your apology.

Work on your appearance
- women do, the least we could do is repay the compliment.

Learn to cook, and don’t expect to be thanked when you occasionally do it.

Listen this is very helpful

Don’t take ladies for granted, there are other men out there!

Be jealous but not possessive, control freaks are scary.

Dance with your woman you don't need rhythm it's good to hold each other and work up a sweat together in public.

Laugh a lot and don’t take yourself to seriously.

Be serious when you need to be and don’t try to get out of every emotional or sensitive situation by cracking a joke.

Never hit a woman, never swear at a woman, personally hitting is worse than swearing, you will swear at your woman, even if it’s just in your head.

Never tell your lady she needs to lose weight unless you feel she is in danger of having a heart condition or developing diabetes!

Don’t believe all they tell you in marriage prep, you should not let the sun go down on your anger is true but sometimes it is just better to huff and puff role over and go to sleep and talk about it in the morning.

Hope this makes sense. By the way, I wholeheartedly believe in women in leadership, any form of leadership.


Jenelle said...

you are simulataneously a genius and a madman for writing what you do. I like your lists so much.

you should keep writing about men.

J-Mac said...

After watching your DVD in church the lads agreed you were punching above your weight.... so I'll be taking this advice thanks!

Rachel said...

haha i SO agree with the decisive one but I also think you have missed one out....

Be Spontaneous! - every now and again at least.

dave wiggins said...

Brian, someone who i admire. Were you trying to gain a few brownie points with the MRS with this one? Remember that film where Mel Gibson or someone could read women's minds, 'what women want' ? Anyway,i think you summed it up. Good work. You should write a book for single Christian women called 'don't be so fussy, you might not walk into a fairytale but here's the basics of what you need in a husband'. I'll take the credit for the snappy title.

Anonymous said...

It's not underwear, its LINGERIE.

Mel Wiggins said...

So those are the basics then Dave-o?...It's good for me to know that there is more than all that coming my way! Great list Brian, definitely resonates with me...

Philip Evans said...

Hi Brian; agree with all of them... but... the dancing!!? Please don't tell me its compulsary..

lisa said...

very nice list. btw, single men fall into the same thing of becoming too picky to find a partner.

byron and i are doing some pre-martial counseling with a young couple here. maybe this list will be a big help to them :-)

Hannah said...

Never go to bed on argument: Stay up and fight!

Love the decisive one!

Hannah x

Jenelle said...

yes, and I was going to mention that bit about single men also being too picky, but I'm glad miss Lisa mentioned it first.

I tend to think single men are too preoccupied with their careers/ministries/money-making-rubbish.

Hannah said...

You don't have a brother do you?


Hey, you should join