Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Stressful insight

Our car is in the garage this week, just getting sorted before we try to sell it! Another challenge, they are coming thick and fast at the moment and we are still leaning into God as we go along.

There are days when I feel my head is going to explode, but if I break it down and compartmentalise everything I find it easier to deal with. For me stress is not one thing, when you take one thing on it's own it never appears stressful. It's always a culmination of a whole load of smaller things all positioning for space and vying for attention, trying to force themselves to the front of my thought processes queue, that, for me, is when stress happens.

Some of these stresses I suppress, others I ignore, some I tell to go to the back of the queue, others I deal with. Generally I keep them in an orderly line and when I watch them they are under control and pretty well behaved. However when I get physically tired or let my guard down spiritually, its like I turn my back on them. In that moment they all make a mad dash, like a group of travellers getting on a ryan air flight,  to try to get to the front of the queue. I turn around and there they all are waving their boarding cards at me and demanding they get seen to first! At first the sight of them all rushing, fighting and pushing can overwhelm me, the thought that flies into my head is "where will I start?". It then takes me a little while to get them all back in order, slap a few, boot a few out, tell a couple to calm down generally bring a bit of control.

It's a constant battle, not depressing or distressing, just a constant battle. Most of the time I am winning but as we get nearer to the end of our time here and our life gets busier, the different stresses seems to jostle harder for position. They are cheeky inconsiderate little blighters, popping up, trying to push in and generally very demanding.

Anyway today I have the queue in order, I have had a good nights sleep, been to the gym, prayed and am about to read my bible.

Hope that gives you a little insight into my stress. No different to anyone else's although this has helped me get a bit of perspective by writing about it.

No comments: