Thursday, February 11, 2010
I wrote this here a while ago, but decided to re-visit it and re-write it.
These are my personal thoughts on manhood, I have friends who have been consistently let down by men, which annoys me and wrote this in an angry moment wishing men especially christian men would get their act together!
I do wonder if the longer a woman goes without a man the choosier she becomes, she has established a single adult life and he has to fit in with her, the other view could be that the longer a woman goes without a man she becomes more desperate. I'm not saying this is true in every case, the same probably applies to men. A lot of men are also a little pre-occupied with their careers/ministries/money-making-rubbish.
What makes a good man? Obviously I am going to use generalisations and be quite self referenced but here goes.
Sensitive yet strong:, is that possible? I think so. We need to be willing to express our feelings and even on occasion cry, but then we must not be too teary! some men use tears and sadness to win women over, it’s pathetic. I cried at my wedding I was overwhelmed by the beauty of my wife and the commitment we were making. Woman in general like to listen but we shouldn’t abuse this wonderful skill by always talking about our problems and issues to win the sympathy vote. Strong for me means being able to get a grip, hold it together, take control but also have the ability to release control, allow someone else to hold it together and be secure enough to cope with someone else being in charge.
Passionate: Love God with a passion, love your children with a passion, be passionate about football (or whatever it is that floats your boat) Oh! and love your woman with passion, she should occasionally have to tell you to calm down and take your brain out of your willy.
Romantic: Women need perfume, flowers, lingerie, jewellery and nice food. It’s easier then you think to make it happen. I have also found that its good to clean the house, make the bed and pick my clothes up from the bedroom floor.
Decisive: make a decision, any decision just be decisive it’s okay to be wrong, but please be decisive.
Say sorry: don’t just say it because you think that is what people want to hear, live life with the knowledge that you won’t always be right and you will make wrong decisions, be humble enough to admit this and please verbalise your apology.
Work on your appearance: - women do, the least we could do is repay the compliment.
Learn to cook: and don’t expect to be thanked when you occasionally do it.
Listen: this is very helpful, you don't always have to solve the problem sometimes people just want to be heard.
Don’t take ladies for granted: there are other men out there!
Be jealous: but not possessive, control freaks are scary.
Dance with your woman: you don't need rhythm it's good to hold each other and work up a sweat together in public.
Laugh: Do this a lot and don’t take yourself to seriously.
Be serious: when you need to be and don’t try to get out of every emotional or sensitive situation by cracking a joke.
Never hit a woman: never swear at a woman, personally hitting is worse than swearing, you will swear at your woman, even if it’s just in your head.
Never tell your lady she needs to lose weight: unless you feel she is in danger of having a heart condition or developing diabetes!
Don’t believe all they tell you in marriage prep: you should not let the sun go down on your anger is true but sometimes it is just better to huff and puff role over and go to sleep and talk about it in the morning. Tired arguments escalate into silly arguments, stuff gets said that is a response to your tiredness not the argument.
Getting Naked: when talking with guys who are in a relationship with a girl, they often have all sorts of little niggles, doubts and worries, most of which come from them having lived at home for too long or their desire to find another mother , I often say "if you play your cards right you could be married in 18 months and rolling about naked with her" I don't understand why more men don't get this???